I've been on the edge this past week - on the edge of tears, but no time to cry. And not even sure what the tears are for. There's just been so much going on with so many emotions involved.
The last few weeks were mostly spent on getting ready for the garage sale. We were blessed by so many people donating so many wonderful things that it was quite a job to go through it all! Thankfully, our friends who offered to have the sale in their garage, have two garages. We packed them both out! It was amazing to see the generosity of people around us - between offering their home and garages, donating things, helping to set up, or watching our kids - we felt so loved and supported.
The kids were able to help in their own way, too. They ran a lemonade/cookie stand and were quite the sales-people. The common thing we heard from them before a person could make it to the driveway was: "Hello, would you like to buy some lemonade or a cookie to help our adoption?" The second most common thing we heard after that: "Keep the change." :)
The sale was a wonderful success! Thank you so much to all who helped.
On the heels of the sale came my mom's surgery. I was able to go and be with her Tues. morning before they wheeled her into the O.R.. Such a sweet time. My mom isn't one for expressing her emotions with words, but we were able to exchange some "I love you's" and I was even able to pray with her. That was more than precious to me and something I am extremely thankful for. The surgery went well for the most part. The preliminary reports on the tumor show that it might not even be cancerous and if it is, it is a very "low grade" type. Good news. Great news! Praise God! The bad news was her facial nerves were laying over and around the tumor, so the surgeon had to handle those more than he wanted to. As a result, her face is really weak and her muscles aren't working right. It basically looks like she had a stroke. I was able to see her today and it wasn't as bad as I expected, but it was still hard. My mom has been a picture of health her whole life and it's emotional to see her struggle with this. I'll keep praying that God draws her closer to Him through all this and that He shows His love and goodness to her in a fresh way.
The night of Mom's surgery we also had our 3rd and final home study visit. Talk about an emotional day. I really haven't been able to process our meeting yet. I've been trying to keep tabs on my mom and keep up every day life between work, Annika finishing preschool, and everything inbetween. But - it went well. It's crazy to me that this part is done. Our home study is being written and being prepared to be sent out. We're having a baby! I'm "pregnant". . . but am I 8 weeks or 8 months along? So surreal. :) We do still have a couple big decisions to make before our profile goes out, so please keep us in your prayers as we continue to ask God to keep guiding us. We have no doubt He will.
So while I've been on the edge of tears for God knows why, it's exciting to know we're also on the edge of the next part of the journey: to meet the little person God has had for our family since before the world began. That's amazing to me.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
Blown Away
I'm not sure how this post is going to turn out. My mind is completely jumbled and blank all at the same time.
It was quite the mixture of emotions this Mother's Day weekend. On Saturday we found out that my mom has cancer. It's in one of her glands that produces saliva; she's having surgery to remove it later this month, and it appears that will take care of it. But still, you hear the word "cancer" and your mom in the same sentence. . . . I'm not sure if I'm avoiding it or just taking it for what it is right now. Right now, it doesn't appear to be life threatening. So, I chose to put off thinking about it too much until the weekend was over. We still haven't told the girls, or even decided how much or when to tell them. I don't want to cause fear when it might not be necessary, yet they'll have their own process they need to go through and I don't want to take that away from them. But, for tonight, they'll sleep without worrying about Nana.
Sunday morning I woke up with the birth mother of our future baby on my mind. I prayed for her and for her family. I can't imagine what it would be like to go through a Mother's Day carrying a child you know you're not going to raise. I prayed the Lord would give her the grace and strength she needed to get through the day.
(Note: I am going under the assumption that the birth mother is already pregnant and our baby is already growing inside her. We have not been selected by a birth mother or know who she might be yet.:))
Then at church we received an amazing blessing. There was an anonymous gift given to us that covers more than what we need to finish paying for the rest of our home study! I looked at Cory and all I could say was, "Are you kidding me?!" I could barely say that - there was such a lump in my throat. Happy Mother's Day to me, right?! :)
My goodness we have an amazing church family! They have supported us and given to us in so many ways (and not just during this adoption process). But there are people who are still calling us, offering things for our garage sale, offering to help me set up, giving us what we need for signs and tables, letting us take over both of their garages to have the sale in for crying out loud! All for the love of one child. To help bring a little person none of us have ever met into it's family. To show the love of Christ - the very gospel of Christ - not only to this child, but to it's birth family and God knows who else. I am amazed. Blown away. There are no words to express my gratitude. When this part of the journey is all said and done, each of you will have played a part in bringing His light into a dark place. Thank you.
It was quite the mixture of emotions this Mother's Day weekend. On Saturday we found out that my mom has cancer. It's in one of her glands that produces saliva; she's having surgery to remove it later this month, and it appears that will take care of it. But still, you hear the word "cancer" and your mom in the same sentence. . . . I'm not sure if I'm avoiding it or just taking it for what it is right now. Right now, it doesn't appear to be life threatening. So, I chose to put off thinking about it too much until the weekend was over. We still haven't told the girls, or even decided how much or when to tell them. I don't want to cause fear when it might not be necessary, yet they'll have their own process they need to go through and I don't want to take that away from them. But, for tonight, they'll sleep without worrying about Nana.
Sunday morning I woke up with the birth mother of our future baby on my mind. I prayed for her and for her family. I can't imagine what it would be like to go through a Mother's Day carrying a child you know you're not going to raise. I prayed the Lord would give her the grace and strength she needed to get through the day.
(Note: I am going under the assumption that the birth mother is already pregnant and our baby is already growing inside her. We have not been selected by a birth mother or know who she might be yet.:))
Then at church we received an amazing blessing. There was an anonymous gift given to us that covers more than what we need to finish paying for the rest of our home study! I looked at Cory and all I could say was, "Are you kidding me?!" I could barely say that - there was such a lump in my throat. Happy Mother's Day to me, right?! :)
My goodness we have an amazing church family! They have supported us and given to us in so many ways (and not just during this adoption process). But there are people who are still calling us, offering things for our garage sale, offering to help me set up, giving us what we need for signs and tables, letting us take over both of their garages to have the sale in for crying out loud! All for the love of one child. To help bring a little person none of us have ever met into it's family. To show the love of Christ - the very gospel of Christ - not only to this child, but to it's birth family and God knows who else. I am amazed. Blown away. There are no words to express my gratitude. When this part of the journey is all said and done, each of you will have played a part in bringing His light into a dark place. Thank you.
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