Details and Due Date

It's taken me a while to be ready to write this. I'm not sure why. I just couldn't figure out how to put into words the amazing, crazy, and wonderful things that are happening!

We have been "matched," which in the adoption world means we've been paired up with, birth parents and baby due on April 20th! Both the birth father and birth mother are from MN, so we were able to meet them, and they were able to meet us, before they made their choice of what family they wanted to place their child in to be the forever family. We do not know if this is a boy or girl and this is going to be a beautifully open adoption.

At the beginning of this process, Cory and I had to decide what type of adoption we'd be open to. Closed? Meaning no contact ever. Semi-open? Meaning, basically, letters and pictures sent at different times a year. Or open? Meaning the birth parents would know who we are and we would have direct contact, with each situation being a little different depending on the situation. As we talked about it, we looked at each other and asked if we were crazy for wanting an open adoption?

Let's just get that out of the way....Yes, we are crazy! :)

The journeys God puts us all on, if we are willing to go, will be crazy. They can only be done through and with Him. It is a wild ride! But it is worth every second. We fully realize that not everyone - in fact, we are finding that most people - will not understand this journey. That's probably the hardest part right now. Watching the looks cross people's faces as we tell them about how our life is changing. Especially when it's people who are dear to our hearts and people I want so badly to really and truly understand and see how wonderful this is! Is it strange? Yes. Is it crazy? Yes. But it is so beautiful.

How many times have you heard that a child who is adopted wishes they could see what their birth parents look like? How many times have adopted children wondered who they get their interests and talents from? How many have wished they could meet their birth parents - at least once?

Our child will never have to ask those questions! We will have, and have right now, and ongoing relationship with both the birth mom and birth dad (I'll refer to them as Jane and John)! They are both amazing people and we are so thankful to have this time before the baby is born to get to know them. We are so blessed to be able to count them as part of our family from this moment on. They already love on our girls and are interested in their lives and everyone has the best interests of this baby at heart. It is beautiful and amazing. Such a precious gift.

I love that, as baby grows, we will be able to say, "That's just like Jane!" or "You sound just like John!" I love that baby already knows our voices - they will not be foreign to him/her. That is so precious to me. I love that we get to add to our family...and not just this baby!

I would be lying if I said that there are not parts of this that can make me fearful, but here's the thing: Am I going to choose to live out of fear or hope? Which one am I going to focus on? My God is big and can handle anything. So in reality, I have nothing to fear. So I am choosing to lay all of the details and "what ifs" at His capable feet and focus on loving this baby. And part of loving baby includes loving baby's birth mom and birth dad. That's true no matter what the situation. Birth parents are the ones who God used to give these children life. Jane and John are who God used to give our child life and they will forever be a part of our family because of that.

We are SO blessed.